Day 647 – Debates are for those that want to MASTURBATE!

 Debates are the BAIT for those that want to masturbate – Take a listen to this recording of Bernard Poolman on the topic of debates, what are the simple and direct design of debates – and the see in my writings of self-forgiveness the points I am now taking on in relation to this topic. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the trap of debates with other people, where an argument around a certain topic simply goes round and round, where opinions keep on playing out, where each person is seeking to win, to get ON TOP (dominate like in sex) the other person as to have a money shot to feel good about themselves, even if it was only an opinion in play, nothing real, nothing based on common sense, on what is best for all life, on how actual reality functions. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realized that the same way self can start with watching porn, then within self, start an internal debate about what one is watching, and somehow the debate will always follow the energy, where it feels good, and not actually what is good, and so one will start masturbating to the porn, as the debate has now been concluded, there was a winner, and it was/is the mind for energy, for feelings, for experiences, even when one know one is doing something that isn’t best for self, that is an addiction, that isn’t healthy in the sense of watching porn and in one’s mind playing out dark and secret thoughts while masturbating to porn that then becomes ones character in life, the same way debates in “normal” conversations start and follow through – till the mind has won, taken the conversation in the direction of energy and not what is real, practical. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to SEE and REALIZE that the energy underlying in masturbating and within any other interactions within this reality that is within the form of debates as opinions/ideas/beliefs are literally jerking off session between people and the one that win will have a similar experience as if they just ejaculated and so dominated and over powered others, and thus feel like a MASTER and so a masturbater. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react and get angry when and as I find someone is arguing or attempting to argue with me over common sense, principles of life and to start a debate on the subject of Equal Money System, or all life is equal as life, or all humans need a living income, or animals and plants are equal to us, or that the earth is literally our mother, points that are common sense, such as those examples, and so want to simply blast such a person away or put them out like a fly, not feeling like spending my time in this debate of mental masturbation of energy through words. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as someone starts a debate with me, may it be in a comment section somewhere, or in real life, to get angry and to lose all morality and time for such a person and so become harsh and shot with them, as to not masturbate them, jerk them off with energy and words, to not give them the satisfaction of friction that can lead to a certain ejaculation of release, as this irritates me and gets me annoyed. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the energy of annoyance to come up within me when and a someone starts or attempts to debate with me, and so to a degree give into the debate and to make myself part f the masturbating session, where I truly do not want to be or be part of, seeing and realizing that I must stop the energy of annoyance and so stop me from falling into the trap of participating in the debate at all, to give it energy, attention, friction, because that’s all that is needed to get someone started, to get them excited and hyped, a little rub. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge debaters as annoying and time wasting and so create a certain judgement within me that creates and automated response to people I judge as debaters/ attention seekers, and so my response is to be short and mean with such people almost immediately, even before giving someone a proper chance to possibly move from a debater stance to someone that stops the masturbating game of debates and to actually see and level with reality. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within reacting to debaters, miss the point of why they are actually debating, why they are seeking attention, and so missing the point within myself to SEE direct and beyond the debate and debater, and to actually see the being/person and to move directly with the being to the direct point that is actually bothering them, steering them, the same reason as to why porn and masturbation is an outflow of some other misalignment's within the being, that can be supported to be corrected and bring a being back to life and out of the realm of illusion/ego and some find fuck place. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the reactions within me to direct and steer me within and when I am faced with a debater/debate through my reactions, where I react to where I see the debating as the BAIT to get me isn’t truly the real season as the debate, but that the person is actually placing a BAIT like a signal for - help me, I need a reality check, I need something real, I need support and assistance within something else, and this debate, debating is a distraction, a defense mechanism to hide the real issues that requires support and assistance within me/the person debating me, and so I see that I must stop my reaction, and be true to what I see and direct and move with that direct here as I see it and not let the reaction cloud my seeing. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build a wall of resistance and pre-determined responses towards people that SEEM like they are only out to debate, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FALL for debates based on being nice. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny my direct seeing of a point, a person or what is truly here within a debate even if it seems way off topic and so participate within the debate instead of getting to the points I see directly either with the person as an underlying point playing out or a resonant pint playing out, or as a back chat point playing out, and so linger in the debate and masturbating with words and not really getting to anything substantial that matters as matter. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that debates takes two to tango, and so I must also make sure that y words are not within friction/energy as to cause a temptation for those that seek to debate and become masters of others to then come at me to get themselves off. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the IDEA construct of if I do not participate in a debate then I am weak, the same as when I stopped masturbating I believed that I am now not a man, yet what I have learned is that I am defined by who I am as who I stand as and not as the actions/words that I live to define myself through – and so I am defined by who I am as LIFE not as my debates of empty words and seeking dominance to define myself through outside forces as a fear/separation design. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that to participate in a debate even when it is clearly NOT common sense being presented or any self-honesty that I do not have integrity, yet it take s REAL INNERtegrity to NOT give INTO the reactions/temptations and to keep breathing and standing and to let the desire and want flow through me to participate, the same way one faces actual moments of wanting to give into porn and masturbation. Breathe and do not follow the thoughts feelings or emotions and back chat. 

I commit myself to stop debates, within and without, to stop following the design of debates in my actions and words, to specify myself to Direct myself within my direct seeing, moving directly to the point if it is here, or to be still and to not be led into temptations. 

I commit myself to when and as I see someone commenting, making remarks to start a debate to stop all movement within me, to see direct, to move with what is here directly and not the energy temptation, and so not take part in a debate, but rather in self-movement as what is best for all as the physical.

 

When Lethargy sinks in Day 606 - 9 of 21

Many years ago I went through a state of lethargy, for months I was tired and exhausted and felt like sitting and zoning out, not doing or participating in anything, where the thought and thinking in my mind would be telling me over and over “ relax, you need to just sit down and relax, do nothing for a while, you have been working hard, you deserve to just sit still and do nothing, just zone out for a while, then you will feel alive and awake again, just give it time” – But then it continues, for days and then weeks and then months and then it becomes Me, this new habit and pattern. 

BUT lucky me, I Listened to the Eqafe interviews on Lethargy a while back, and this enabled me to see when I was entering Lethargy, but that’s now all, because of the interviews I was not only able to see what I am in but also HOW I have created it for myself, it all took place in a short period of 30min, where I felt lethargic and suddenly I saw the construct that was described in the interviews, and I was like, wow, this is how I created it and why I am experiencing this. In that moment I could view who I was in the past few weeks and then how that specific doing/living ended up in a state I could not explain and just experienced and then have lethargy. 

It is for me difficult to write it all specifically down, as this requires the knowledge of the interviews to fully understand, but I will do the Self-forgiveness none the less on my personal points of creation up until this point. 

Here are the interviews for your interest:

Lethargy: Introduction – https://eqafe.com/p/lethargy-introduction-atlanteans-part-212
Lethargy Looking Ahead - https://eqafe.com/p/lethargy-looking-ahead-atlanteans-part-216
Lethargy Domino Effect - https://eqafe.com/p/lethargy-domino-effect-atlanteans-part-213
Lethargy Self-Forgiveness - https://eqafe.com/p/lethargy-self-forgiveness-atlanteans-part-215
Lethargy A Physical Experience - https://eqafe.com/p/lethargy-a-physical-experience-atlanteans-part-214
Lethargy The Gifts Within - https://eqafe.com/p/lethargy-the-gifts-within-atlanteans-part-217

 

My Self-Forgiveness 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the past few weeks take on a character within me of “advancement” where the point of advancement and growing wasn’t the problem, but that I took on a character within energy, where the mind made me believe that I require a certain character to face the changes of advancing and expanding based on expectations of what is to come, where I in the current moment already generate and create all the energy that I believe I will need as this character for when and as the moment arrives that these changes and advancements take place, and so within time as I advance, the expectations isn’t met, yet I have already generated and gathered all this energy within me for a certain moment, and as this moment never arrives my body still need to use this energy or do something with it, and thus I go into a lethargic state where all this energy is now weighing on me, making me feel tired as It never got to be expressed, and so it now needs to filter through my body and all the systems designed within the mind, and so I sit and wait for myself to feel awake again, to beef alive again to move and direct myself, yet as I wait for this to happen I am forming and creating new habits and patterns set within lethargy, and thus I become lethargy as a self-propelling cycle. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require a high energy character for any change or advancement that MIGHT take place and to within this prepare the character within acclimating energy beforehand as to set myself up for success, without actually knowing the outcome of the actual time it will take before any advancement or change will actually take place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to be someone else other than me to be ready, to handle any advancement or change that is to come or might come.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize the non-common sense approach this is to take on a character and to generate all the required energy I believe I will required for something that might or might not happen and to within this act upon it within energy within me, not even checking physical reality and walking real time change, just following everything and anything my mind is throwing at me to follow according to an expectation I made up within my mind about what I want and not haw reality works.