Day 181 – Memories the present kept imprisoned in the cells

continuation of Day 180

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give any and all memories value and that they mean something and that they are special, not seeing and realizing that memories is simply the past and nothing more, and the past isn’t here unless I re-create the past through participating in memories and thus never moving forward and living life but only rewinding and replaying like a broken record.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize how ridiculous it is to hold onto memories that only I have in my head and that I can see/look at and play with as if it is real and wasting time and only distracting myself from what is here as reality and to make myself a slave to the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Trap the present in memories as prisons of pictures with energetic charges so that when and as I visit the prison cells as the memories are stored in the body in the cells, I can simply call the prisoner by its name and I will get a visitor/memory from the past that is either good or bad and I will get my energetic High from visiting the memory for a moment and then lock the memory back up, not seeing and realizing that I am over populating my prison and keeping it full – which cost energy and time and maintenance, instead of living here in and as the physical where everything is always here and no memory needed and thus no prison and not energy/costs/maintenance/time. And also not carrying the prison cells of memories with me everywhere I go is like taking a mountain of my back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must fear letting go of memories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must hold on to memories for some mental reason that has no actual physical practicality except for keeping us all in the past and repeating the past through living in memories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to ALWAYS make memories more than the present, not seeing and realizing that within this I am making life shit for myself as I constantly compare the present with past memories and the memories will always win as if I am in a contest with myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that as long as I hold onto the past and memories and energetic experiences of positive and negative that I am subject to those energies as I give them value.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that as long as I connect energy such as feelings/emotions that it can and will be used against me either for positive or negative and that I will be directed by the memory and fall for the trap of re-creating the past, instead of breathing and self directing.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself speaking or telling a story to someone to stop when and as I see that I am doing so from the starting point of praising the past.

I commit myself to when and as someone brings up the past to use it against me as my actions and words from the past to serve their self interest as their starting point for doing so, to realize that as long as I give the past value and an energetic charge then I will be impulse/moved and not be able to stand and breathe in the present here stable as what is here and to not be manipulated and controlled by the past as the past is within the past and NOT who I am unless I decide so, seeing and realizing that memories are only limitation and control and enslavement of the mind.

I commit myself to investigate this point more and to follow up on this point to write it more specific in the future with an actual event to give as context.

Day 180 - Defining myself as the past Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the past against myself when and as I talk about past events that I have judged as negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I share past events with people to do it from the starting point of trying to share a part of who I belief I am to get approval/recognition from others as my past, not seeing and realizing that through this I am limiting myself and enslaving myself to the past as I place my past as a certain energy within others which then creates the feeling that I must now live as my past to make what I shared true.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that when I am sharing my past with another being that I must do so with feelings and emotions to re-create the experience for the other to experience and to within this lock myself as the experience as the past and actual identifying and deciding who I am as the past in that moment, thus enslaving myself and limiting myself to the past through others eyes as the Ideas I have created within them as who I was in the present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I speak/share about certain past events that I have judged as negative/bad with another to not see and realize that within such a pact I physically take on the experience and only tell/confirm with myself that it is who I am and so repeat/time loop the past, instead of seeing and realizing that I am Here and the past is the past and to share the past must be done within self forgiveness and to let go so that the energy isnt transferred and corrupting myself and another if gullible, and to share from the starting point of what is best for all life in all ways as a physical sharing and not an energetic sharing that is like a poison to self and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Judge certain past events as negative and others as positive and tow within this Identify myself as the negative and positive energetic signatures based on past memories/events/experiences and to re-create the past as myself instead of correcting myself as that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I talk about certain past events to attack a negative judgment to it, instead of speaking/talking about it as the past as what it is and to not re-create it here in the present as who I am, seeing and realizing that it isn’t to separate self from the past but to stand one and equal as the past without any judgments as positive or negative judgments and to within this learn from the past and correct self to live that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only want to share the good/positive stories of the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to only have good memories so that I can only identify myself as the good memories, not seeing and realizing that for me to have judged certain memories as good I must already have judged other memories as bad, and thus when and as I desire to only identify myself as the good memories I already within implication identify myself as the bad memories as they are both supporting one another and thus enslaving myself within a constant battle of good versus evil as the past within me and thus creating an identification crisis, seeing and realizing that it is to self forgive the past as all memories and to remove all energetic charges from memories and to give to oneself what is here in and as the physical as breathe where Who I am is decided in each and every moment and not determined or limited or a slave to the past as memories, and to within this see and realize that who I am in all ways have always been LIFE as the physical here and that I have been/am hiding in memories to avoid facing the reality of what is here as Who I am as the reality of what is here and to take self responsibility and change to that which is best for all life in all ways.

To be continued.