First, Silence in the Storm/self, STOP the panic in the pandemic - Self forgiveness 1

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that as long as I have a reaction/fear towards how the current pandemic is handled within the world, that is validates my opinions about it, not seeing and realizing that my reaction/fear is contaminating my seeing and information processing, and thus my opinion is just that, an opinion running wild with assumptions and projections, where I am projecting my fear and reactions into and onto reality, wanting it to be validated and confirmed by others to feel safe, to feel that I am on the right path, and so as to not have to experience fear or my reactions. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my opinions/believes/ideas and to be still/quiet within me regarding the pandemic, the world and what is going on, to really see what is HERE, in fear of that what I believe it to be not being real, not being my fear, not being what I want it to be. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that I want my opinions/believes to be the TRUTH of what is going on within the world, as I then feel in control, and so when I feel in control I feel I will not lose, and so I will impose and even manifest my opinions/believes and ideas to be real just to be in control to win, to be right., and thus I see and realize that I am the creator of what I fear, by acting out of fear and on my fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being caught with my pants down regarding what is going on in this world regarding this pandemic and thus fear what I am going to do, thus who I am going to be, and so I see and realize that what I fear is me, my reactions, my experiences, my worst fears coming true, and not the pandemic itself, but rather me within it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown, to fear what I can not see and do not know, and so within this state of fear go into attempting to make things Known to myself, by taking the fears and projecting them outwards into my reality and manifesting them, so that I can see them, anywhere and everywhere as to attempt to make everything known, so that I can point fingers and say, LOOK there it is, I am right, I know, I can see, and thus not only manifesting my fear in my reality within what is here, but to in fact reinforce it through getting others to agree with my opinions and to stand with me, as two or more in my name, and it shall be done. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear the virus, to make my fears about the virus, and thus anything and everything said about the virus becomes fuel for my fear, and not my common sense, my self-trust, and thus I sell out myself to fear of the virus, where the virus is this monster, yet not looking at what brings a virus about within this world, how it spreads and how it is handled, which can show it is not the virus to fear, but rather seeing that mans fear manifested a world where only fear exists and thus a virus can exist that effects all equal and one, and so I see and realize it is a world that I must change by being the change first within myself, stopping me existing as fear and rather living within consideration of all life, as what is best for all life practically. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create more separation between me and my fellow humans within this pandemic by NOT stopping my thoughts/feelings and emotions FIRST and foremost of my interpretations and projections of the pandemic, and to actually have a real conversation with my fellow man, instead of simply IMPOSING and forcing my opinions and believes of the situation onto them. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself and my position and my OPINIONS the GOOD side, where I am on the right side, and I CARE and everyone else that does not share the same FEELINGS as me towards the pandemic will be BAD people, and so in fact create more separation and the signature of WAR between my fellow man, and thus I see and realize I must stop, I must slow down and look, is WAR with my fellow man a better option than dealing with the pandemic, is separating myself from others a better way forward? I see and realize this is NOT best for all, thus I take self-responsibility and I stop, as I see and realize it is best to deal with reality here as it is with my fellow man rather than separating and creating war with my fellow man while also dealing with a pandemic. Thus, I see with me and my fellow humans connected, standing as one, we can prevent and take action that is best for all dealing with what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to conspire against my brother and sister. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give away my responsibility as my brother’s keeper to fear, to wanting to be right, to wanting to convince my brother/sister of my point of view, or ELSE, or I do not care, I do not stand with them, and within so keep going into circles of win and lose, never coming together. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat from the three of good and evil as the tree of knowledge and to abandon the tree of LIFE by giving into my fears, opinions and beliefs of what is here, versus reality, where reality is, I am here and my fellow humans are here, we must untie, not in opinions and believes, not in convincing and converting each other to our way and view of seeing what is here, but rather within the principle of LIFE and how can we direct and manifest what will bring an outcome that is best for all life based on the basic needs of every man women and child within this reality as a physical living NEED, and to deal with pandemics where all needs are met, and where all are take care of, where we do not accept and allow abuse of one another and being each other’s keepers, seeing and realizing that as long as we fight, split, and divide, we will allow and accept abuse, we will not be able to direct reality here as we each will be stuck in our minds in alternative realities of what is going on and fighting to be right, versus supporting each other in this reality instead. 

To continue.

Day 486 - unexpected truth about Desteni and the Desteni Farm.

I have been wanting to write the truth about Desteni farm for many years, it has always been on my mind, I have never had a single day go by without having the vision of me writing out a blog post revealing the truth about Desteni Farm and what it is that’s going on here. I have been living on the Detseni farm for more than seven years, and I cannot hold this in anymore.

When I came to Desteni farm in 2008, I was strongly advised by my mother to not come, and that she does not allow me to come/go to the Desteni Farm, my father on the other hand was happy for the decision. (Since then my mother has visited me here on the Desteni Farm on many occasions and even wanted to move here at some point)

So I came, the words of my mother was stuck inside of me on the way to the Farm, it was a six hour drive, just me and my Father in the car, as we got closer and closer to the farm where I knew Bernard Poolman would be waiting for my arrival, and where the portal will be, I was really nervous and stressed out, as my mother’s words floated around in my mind – specifically these words: “in the name and blood of Jesus I do not give you permission to go” – and I decided to go anyway.

Once I was on the farm and I gave Bernard a hug and everyone else, the stress and nervousness was over, taking a quick look around the farm and just chilling, sitting around a big metal table outside talking and sharing, my father was also staying for a few days. The farm was at that time very dull and empty, not much was build yet and not much going on.

Then my Father left, and I was now on my own, no parent nearby, just me and other people on a farm and to be more specific – the DESTENI farm, not just any farm with family and friends living on it, a farm that was very very specific and why it exist, and the people on this farm with a very specific goal that is being lived/applied.

As time went by I got involved in ALL the Physical activities on the farm, which is farm maintenance and building. We were busy reshaping the farm, to bring life to the farm, taking out thousands of weeds and planting grass and cutting grass and building bathrooms and fixing a lot of things, such as fencing etc, and in this passing of time more and more people came to the farm, people from ALL over the world, from America and Europe and Australia and Canada and so many other places.

With these new strangers visiting the farm with this same specific goal at heart, it was really awesome to see everyone coming together and participating within all the practical farm activities and having chats around bond fires and making videos and interviews and writing blogs, just discussing LIFE and the systems we live in and changes and actually apply these changes to ourselves within the group, with a great amount of feedback from the supportive environment to help one achieve change in living application.

What I found the most interesting was all the different people from all around the world are actually not so different at all, in fact I would say I realized that everyone is the same.

Oh wait, everyone is waiting to hear the truth about Desteni farm, sorry I got lost in all the amazingness of the Desteni farm, the uniqueness of it all, the magnitude of such a happening such as the Desteni farm. specifically why is exists and how.

You are probably also waiting to hear about all the Bernard stories and the portal stories and all the weird things that is supposed to be going on at the Desteni Farm, well I am sorry the only weirdness is how the Desteni farm is the most harmonious place I have ever lived, where there is actually peace and community, because the people that visit or that stay here, are people that has developed themselves through actual self-change within taking self-responsibility, through extensive writing and applying self-forgiveness and developing self-honesty, living by common sense and agreements.

Oh wait, that is weird to most of humanity, which prefers war and harm and enjoying emotional abuse and mind games and blaming and all the “good” shit (sarcasm) all the normal stuff””

The portal is as real as real can be, I witnessed the portal multiple times at any time doing what the portal does, NEVER preparing anything beforehand, I mean the things the portal can do is beyond my comprehension, in terms of what’s coming through the portal. It is feaken amazing, I tried doing what the portal does through “pretending” and guess what, it is impossible to come up with even 1% of what the portal is doing and seven years later even with Bernard gone for two years already, the portal is still at it the same, making a part one video of a certain series today and then for the next several weeks make other interviews and then continues with part two perfectly in alignment with part one, I slept in the same house in my own room as where the portal was for two months, seeing the portal busy at any time with several other people also in the same house, the portal NEVER had any time to practice or to go rehearse anything. It is all real time HERE. I could at any time ask the portal for assistance or perspective and right there and then the portal would show me the points and give me insight or describe a system or program to me, and years later, still the same.

To talk about Bernard Poolman I would need to write a book, Bernard was simply HERE always breathing and directing points here, taking no shit, yet the gentlest person and the kindest person and you can’t hide anything from him, without saying a word he knows and brings it up. Yes developing abilities is possible, I used to see inter-dimensional at the age of 16, my entire family is aware of it and saw the proof for themselves in front of their eyes, but I lost my ability through abusing it. (I have never shared this before) this is why I know everything with Desteni is a fact, I lived it and I have been there (my own proof and evidence through time applying myself actually within the provided tools) trusting myself. One needs to stand as life and in breath to handle such an ability/gift – moving on.

The truth about Desteni Farm – it’s the one place on earth that I would like to manifest all across the earth, specifically the communal living part, not necessarily earth as one big farm lol.

The truth is Desteni is amazing if you really walk it to your utmost and apply the tools and learn to know thy self, develop yourself as what is best for all life, in other words, develop the vocabulary to stand one and equal as life to live the words of life and become the living word, as the word was in the beginning and A new reality, the actual reality that is here starts coming through and what’s possible for this reality that we have destroyed thus far, writing, self-forgiveness, develop self-honesty, common sense and living by the principles that is based on LIFE as what is best for all life.

If you want more truths about Desteni and the Desteni Farm then first let go of pre-conceived ideas and beliefs and opinions and really take a look without a veil in front of your eyes and we can move along faster this life to change this world and make a life that is worthy and best for all.