Day 368 – Positivity as paranoia Part 2

Day 367 – Positivity as paranoia Part1

When everyone becomes positive, you must know there is paranoia. See there is a difference between practicality and positivity. 

Using practicality does not require one to be positive, because being practical works on math, there is a outcome, either way, it isn’t expected to be positive or negative.

When one uses positivity to solve problems then it is backed by paranoia, because the outcome is left in the air, with hope and faith, it is like being positive while crossing a red light at a robot. 

Practicality is, wait at the red light and then cross when it is green, it takes time and patience but you will cross. 

Continuing from the last blog -- “Here is how I used positivity to hide and cloak the paranoia, the reality, the facts when and as I started happening to me and still is……. “

When I started working as a car salesmen I was placed within the second hand department to train and to sell, not long after that I was moved to the new car department, I lost a bit of motivation within this transition because I spend all my training in the second hand department, knowing the cars and how to sell them through observation. 

I was paranoid because here I am with bran new cars, how do I sell them, what I need to know about them, they are from China and they are not well known. 

So I said to myself, I will learn, I will get it, I will sell these cars, it must be easy. I have no choice, so here I lose another two weeks getting the hang of the new floor and getting into the way the floor works around there, plus learning to know the cars, then I spend all my Time never being there, I was used to drive and to pick up and to transport and to do all kinds of things, people sometimes even forgot I worked there. 

Then it started slowing down, I started getting my position right, I started going less and less away by the second month on the new cars sales section, a week in they suddenly changed me again to the second hand cars department again, this fucked me around again, I still haven’t sold one car.

This is where the paranoia came in again, I have been moved again, I have been de-rooted from my foundation again, I now have to only sell second hand cars again, I have to forget everything I learned about the new cars and focus on how to sell the used ones, I was there for two weeks without really being send away as usual, I thought this is good, I can now focus on selling a car for ones. 

And so I became positive again, I stayed positive, I had to stay positive, or the paranoia would get me, I have been in the car sales business for three months and not one car sold, I haven’t made any money, I have only spend money and lots and lots of time basically doing everything besides selling a car. I was paranoid that I would always be used to do everyone’s small jobs and favors and never have time for selling cars, but I stayed positive that it will and have to end someday, telling myself that every day, maybe today is the day. 

So I saw these two weeks as a thumbs up for this is it, I am now in a stable position where I can dedicate my focus to getting clients and making money, sell cars. 

Then the Royal show was coming up, this is a show that the NEW car sales department participates within, which I am not a part of, yet the boss and manager said, I must do it for the experienced, for which I agreed, the people experience, the show experience and all that. 

This was going to be another ten days that I will not sell a car guaranteed, as the show is more for advertisement purposes, But I agreed, I believed that the experience will get me to be a good sales person, to get over the people issues and to reality, so I can work with any and all people equally. 

After ten days of being at the Royal show and basically being alone there with thousands of people that can testify to that while we were supposed to be six people rotating, which never happened, it was a great physical experience for me to push through, standing alone as my own support. Really cool stuff. 

So I got back to work, I went on to call all my leads I collected from the Royal show and I got absolutely no sales from that, how pathetic, even after all the evidence of me not selling a car I somehow managed to stay “positive” because I was paranoid of what has already happened, all the time and money I spend making nothing of it all, even with the most busy show in the City I did not make one sale, with all the Hundreds of people I talked to and that made promises, nothing.

Two days after the show the boss comes to me, and he says, you are moving back to the NEW car sales department, I said oaky, since I had the royal show I know these cars like they are written on the back of my brain/hand, it will be a good move this time. For the best, I will definitely sell a car now.

But as before just like in the beginning when I started, Nothing happens on the floor in terms of customers and selling cars, I am just send around to do other jobs, I don’t mind, it is better than sitting around and doing nothing, but I might just lose that one customer that might walk in when I am gone, see the paranoia there linked to that positive idea of a customer might walk in. 

So I am back at the New car sales department, for about a week, just two days ago I was send to the BOTTOM, I am now not even on the show grounds/room, I was send to go sell cars outside far away from the building next to a parking lot, I have no office, I have to work out of a car and throw a show every day outside.

Here I can sell new and old cars, that’s a good deal for me, I do not mind, I am away from the boss and manager that always ask me to do all their things, like fetching their food, taking them somewhere, picking something up for them, fuck go and pay their bills or get their post. 

I am now open and away with the options of selling new and old cars, they are all there on display, just I have no office or phone or books or anything, it’s a tricky business. 

In one day I got four walk ins onto my parking lot, usually that happens in a week.

See how positive I am, because it has almost been four months now and I haven’t sold a damn thing, I don’t even know what to do with a client if they want to buy a car right now. That’s how much I have been trained. 

So the positivity I have been creating has only been to avoid the facts, the truth, the paranoia of ignoring the evidence that space and time is showing me. 

This does not mean quite your job now, this simply is to show how positivity hasn’t helped me to sell a fucking car, positivity has not helped me to get the business, it has only helped me to prolong the disease of hope and faith instead of taking real action. 

To be continued.