The Fear you have before you have the Ability to Respond Day 605, Day 8 of 21




This is a follow up on my previous blog, I simply pinpointed the exact phrase that placed everything in perspective for me on what I need to focus on within today's self – forgiveness.

Do you know of what emotion I am speaking of, an ever so slight reaction that become so sharp as if it is taking your breath away, piercing from your solar plexus through into your chest, especially if there is a point of conflict coming, or perceived, as if an expectation will come to life that you feared. Not fearing the other people or person, but rather your ability to respond, where when this experience comes up within you, it is as if you lose all confidence, all common sense, all basics and the mind goes into reactive behavior, a flight or fight mode, as if everything of and about you is on the line. Even basic principles one stand and live by as a guideline is missing. Well this is the experience that I have had for a very long time in my life, since I was a young child. And now I have finally seen that all it is, is me not breathing and giving the mind Authority, and this giving takes a split second to happen and then its downhill from there, as showing that before I wasn’t breathing already, I was existing as a character, a personality already before that has everything to lose as a mind consciousness system. So here I go.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate the sudden sharp reactive emotion that comes up within me in moments that is of fear of my ability to respond and stand, where I see I hate this sudden sharp reaction because it is showing to me that I am in the mind and not breathing within the physical here walking real time, even when I believe I am not in the mind, this experience is showing to me what I am still accepting and allowing.

I forgive myself that I haven’t seen and realized that this sudden sharp reaction that starts subtle but then become sharp is but only supporting me and not actually meaning anything in terms of what I am connecting the experience to, but that it is simply showing me that I am in the mind and thus of the mind as personality and thus have something to fear, and so I see and realize that when and as this reaction comes up that I do not have to participate within it, I can simply breathe and let go of the mind and the experience and to the Give to me in and as the physical the ability to respond through anchoring myself within principle, within basics, within breath and all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give authority to the mind when and as the mind is telling me that I am not able to respond, that I am weak, that I am lesser, that I must now fear my words as they will be in defense of my personality, and so respond within a reactive manner that bears only word of self-interest and ego, no matter how good they may sound, no matter how much reasoning they have, they are done so in the name of the mind and limitation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on actually breathing as soon as I start.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually not focus on my breathing and to not actually stop any and all thoughts feelings and emotions, where I have taken on a certain emotion of being and defined that as me being in breathe, until I have a moment where this is revealed to me that is of a sudden sharp reaction going through my solar plexus into my chest (breath) and where I am completely dis-empowered and actually harming myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not actually breathe and focus on breathing as my process walking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that I have again created a certain character that can be called the pretending to breathe character” where this character stakes on a stance of I am breathing, yet it is just a character and not breathing in fact, as this character is till protecting and participating in ‘JUST” thoughts and feelings and emotions that is seen as okay to have and give attention to and that nothing will come of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into characters that I have seen as “me breathing” and to not question these characters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must walk and talk and act a certain way to be in this breathing character to be able to say YES I am breathing because look I am in this character. As if I am following a image of myself as being the physical representation of a mind within my mind, that must be still looking, quiet and so forth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify any character that I take on for why I am not breathing in fact for real dealing with my internal reality within self-forgiveness consistently as my rebirth process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT consider the actual implications of actually breathing and that the characters I play and take on now as if they are Breathing characters are not real and still enslavement and that to actually breathe has no pre-programming, it has no style, no habit, no pattern, not thoughts, feelings and emotions guiding anything, it does not even have time. Yet functions perfectly normal within the physical reality because breathe is actually in alignment with physical reality and NOT the mind.

LIFE and Wishing for Support, Day 604 – Day 7 of 21



a bit of sharing on my process in here as well. enjoy

Behold the world upon you and let your vision see its potential as what is best for all life, now move as required to ensure that every action you take no matter what that it is or who you must be and stand as to manifest that vision, break every limitation and move through every fear as you know they are but programs – Wishing will only diminish the vision as it will never meet reality to become real.

These are but empty words as they have no backup, no walking backing the talking, they float in the air as potential still, they are here to LIVE, am I willing, can I WILL myself to push myself beyond what I believe is possible, can I face my fears and insecurities and BE that of LIFE and stand as that principle to mold and shape myself as what is here and required.

The question is, how much can I sit and wish for change, how long can I wait till I am out of time, shall my fears and programmed believes of what is possible and what isn’t determine my time? Sit and think about them, place myself already in the future of failure as the current character I am? Or shall I walk the talk, the vision in living, is it possible, this is the first thought to cloud me already, will I be able to? Perhaps wishing and waiting is a better option, I might as well fail before starting.

Have I forsaken the one principle? Have I but only become a man in flesh that has no part or access to the whole of who I am as LIFE? Why can I not trust LIFE as me, the universe, the mind has me, I am inside the mind, I have thoughts, I feel with energies even though what I feel with my hands are more real and relevant. I am not aware of the child starving to death on the other side of the planet, or in this case not so far from here in Africa.

There is a ONE, this one moves in equality at all times, this equality is not necessarily as what I might perceive, it isn’t a polarity based equality, it is a equality of standing as who I am, this equality is a frightening one, but yet it can be the utmost potential as well. It is a matter of stopping the mind. I am always one and equal to what I stand as, as ME as who I am, and the One as the Principle as the universe as LIFE as ME that I have separated myself from through a mind consciousness system, directs every and all in accordance with my standing and every other co-creator. This is mathematics.

How do I know this? I was there once, I was shown by a man I knew, he gave me the moment, the breathe to experience LIFE, I was but a teenager, innocent of the mind I existed as and still do. I had abilities beyond what I have now, I could feel physically everything, I could see what systems and designs existed within peoples around me, I could show them I could see beyond the veil of what is here as our current perceptions of reality that is literally built and based on brainwashing and we cannot see anything further than that. I know it possible, I lost it all as I gave into one moment of fear.

For a moment in time, I stood not as a personality or a mind, I stood as something else, yet in the amarute stage of learning and getting to know who I was without a mind consciousness system, I stood as LIFE, all of existence, I could communicate with life, the chair and the curtain in a living room, the rocks laying on the floor, everything is ME and I am IT = LIFE. I had no knowledge or information on what I was living, I lived it, NO fear, no emotions or feelings, the connection as LIFE transcends all pitiful experiences and brings a TRUE feeling forth that is actually genuine and real it cannot be moved, it isn’t energy based, it is to actually be one and equal with all that is HERE.

I fell not because I had a mind, I fell because I as the being gave permission for the mind consciousness system to set back within me, this I know was deliberate, I made that decision in that moment, afer but only a few weeks of walking this new way as LIFE – I realize only much later in my journey with Desteni that what I have done is what I am still doing, every day is a deliberate decision to walk as the mind and to validate fear, any thought is fear, any emotion is fear, any thought is fear, any memory is fear, take a look for yourself – why else would they just come up” it is survival programming, and that’s the only reason they exist and that we give it attention and allowance and acceptance and we miss life completely.

I share this in this way not because I know more, not because I have a secret about it, not because I have something special, it is to share part of my journey, many will not understand or see what I am saying, but the following point I want to bring up is – I was able to do that, to live that, to be that LIFE in oneness and equality, I am my own proof that it is possible to live without a mind consciousness system and that through living in oneness and equality as LIFE brings forth gifts, it brings forth something that isn’t possible to be comprehended by the mind, the mind is a total and absolute limitation – YET even with all that now as knowledge and information, why do I still choose the mind every day? Not as much as I used to, but just enough to keep me a mind consciousness system, as if I am afraid to give myself over to myself as LIFE as existence, as the universe.

And back to my point, if I am afraid to give myself over to LIFE and to move and live and stand as LIFE without the mind consciousness system, then within the principle of oneness and equality I will receive as I give, I will be done onto as I am doing onto, so LIFE will not give to me, I am not willing to give myself to LIFE absolutely.

So I end up wishing that LIFE will care for me, that other part of me that I am abandoning, and fear returning too, already before death. So I want to stay save as a mind, as a thought, as a fear, and wish that LIFE will see my intentions and give to me as I feel, as I want, yet not willing to GIVE all of me back to ME/LIFE. Even having the knowledge and information of having been there, stood there, lived it and know it’s possible.

When living is traded in for postponement it turns into a currency called knowledge and information, and so the living is lost between all the knowledge and information and the information and knowledge now has the value and the living has lost all its potential. This is the trap of the mind and what I have seen, how I seek a way through knowledge and information to live and stand as LIFE one and equal as I have/did once in an amateur way, but I was there, as a way to do it save, as I am fearful of the unknown as I know life has no fear, life has no limitations, life isn’t personal, it is all inclusive and one and equal to and as all, and that’s the part of me I fear.

There is still a very long way to walk I know, yet it is always HERE in breathe. My process with Desteni and the tools and the message and all the research and support and assistance through Eqafe, I know I have no excuse, as I always choose in fact.

To be continued with SF next blog.

War and Beheading - Day 603 Day 6 of 21




I saw a documentary today called only the dead 2015, where it is about a journalist who was in Iraq and when America invaded Iraq and made/declared war and this journalist spend seven years documenting parts of what’s going on, on the ground, and from both sides.

During watching this Documentary there are almost all the time people dying, being shot, dead, and being beheaded. For a while I had to remind myself while watching that this is REAL deaths, these people actually died as I was watching it, it isn’t a movie. And then it hit me, a sickening feeling in my stomach and a realization of what war actually is. It isn’t pretty at all. In fact, there are no rules in war, it is a mission and at any means get the mission done, and then there is the mental state of the people actually participating, they lose it, they can even become mad and they do lose their humanity so to say where murder and killing becomes more later on, it becomes personal and so suicides take place and what soldiers from either side do to each other has later on no limits, such as torturing, abusing, raping and name it all.

The once scene in the documentary that really got me was that of a man who’s head was cut off, and I watched it happen, right after this man introduced himself and where is from, his name, his family and then BAM, as he is sitting there on the floor tied up, men grab him from behind and with a big knife starts to saw off his head and then after the head if sawed off they pick it up and showcase it to the camera.

It got me because I place myself in everyone’s shoes always that I am watching or seeing, I do not choose sides either. I take all in as me and check who I am within that and to breathe and stand one and equal, because it happened to another part of me, and another part of me did it, I am responsible for all of it, so I cannot separate myself and feel bad and guilty, I must stand up and see where I must change and to move as.

It is clear that this is unacceptable to even exist, War and the reasons for war must end, it must stop and we must stop within ourselves FIRST, if there is any kind of movement within us, as you and me where we see fighting, war as a solution, we are still the problem and cause as a vote for the existence that is here that isn’t best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to see any form of violence as a solution to my problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes wish for violence as a quick solution and not having to actually deal with the under current cause of the problems or even unwillingness to want to change the actual cause.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that as long as I am in good intentions within me seeking to use violence to solve a problem or problems that I am not good, and my intention is that of evil as against life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that violence must exist as a point of solving problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thoughts of being violent in moments of anger or where something or someone provoked something within me, and that I believe someone else can make me experience something within me, when it is literally impossible as it is within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see these thoughts feelings and emotions of wanting to harm or be violent as natural and a possible solution within me, where this violence of wanting to hurt someone is always a point of EGO and self-interest directly about me and now wanting to harm another for ME taking something personal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize violence is when we are clouded by the lens of the mind that is out to violate the physical to mould and shape the physical through violating the physical as what is real to fit the minds perception of our own beliefs, ideas and opinions based on ego, to make what isn’t real a reality through breaking and forcing a certain outcome for self-interest.

Idea versus Ideal Day 602 – Day 5 of 21




I have so many ideas during my everyday living – my ideas are always inspired for world change, how I as an individual can start something, make it big and make it happen. I write down many of my ideas and some I post on social networks, where they get some feedback. I appreciate any and all feedback.

Ideas come and go, this is what I have seen for myself, and sometimes I act on these ideas, to physically practically check it out. These Ideas I act on are usually small things that are possible right now, so it is easy and I have feedback quit quickly and can thus change my idea and test it out again.

One of the Key points I have realized within acting on small ideas is to take and idea and to mold and shape that idea into an Ideal, not an Idol, then we will have a problem.

I always align my ideas that are BIG to group activity and efforts, and always in alignment with the principles I live by to benefit and support and assist all those equally that I can currently reach and that stand equally as me. As I know it will only then spread out more and more.

The problem I face is a Fear, where I get an Idea that isn’t something that can be done right here and now, it is something that requires time and effort, to set the IDEAL of the idea already in the planning without having the opportunity first to just test it and then correct it. Because any BIG Idea that goes public effects that idea and how that idea is manifested, so a second chance is very hard after that, an unfortunate consequence of living in a system where there are winners and losers.

I have been in the process of bringing a BIG Idea to live, to manifest it, it is taking time, the planning, the research and all the practical points that is required to be in place before even exposing or revealing this idea to not have any assumptions already made, and that is of course part of and in alignment with my process and living and standing as a Destonian and the Desteni Principles and group. As the group always comes first.

So the point I am facing is the fear of the unknown of not having that space and time to take a BIG idea and first check it out, I must basically give it one shot and that will be it for this one particular idea, and even if the idea fails, it will not mean it was a bad one, it can simply mean that I have missed a few points, and thus the Ideal isn’t met.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking a BIG idea and to follow through with it into manifestation and that it might not work and where the reasons will be that of missing small points within the Ideal outflow I wanted and saw within the Idea.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear making BIG mistakes and who I will be within that miss take, where I can already see myself getting back up and starting over, yet I fear having to go through the whole process again just because of missing a few points.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to rush into manifesting my big idea as soon as possible just to find out if it will work or not, and to within this miss the IDEAL and what I must practically consider within the Idea as to as much as possible ensure that the Ideal of the Idea is to manifest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to flood my passion and vision and Idea with too much unnecessary information within a fear as a paranoia of messing it up and to within this take the idea and making it into a typical sales pitch and missing the passion completely of where the Idea comes from as a self-directed and creative movement within me that isn’t of knowledge and information but a physical movement of living and manifesting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear going BIG and Viral.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what will happen if my BIG idea actually manifest and how much of a difference it will be from what I saw within me and my mind versus reality as I had no time to first check and assess as what I do with small ideas on a daily living scale.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distrust myself within listening to the mind as knowledge and information as comparison where I compare myself as less than those that has made big ideas come true and were able to be flexible and moveable to adjust and make it happen, and that I am not the same, yet I know within me as my expression that I am, I can I am capable, I must simply take the lead/jump after preparation and cross reference with others and to know that in breath I am okay, I am here, I am doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the voices in my head of what other people will say and think about my crazy ideas and that it will not be possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR my response to others when and if they might have negative responses towards me and my crazy ideas and that I might just get more crazy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect everyone to just go with it and make it happen and then it will work, yet seeing and realizing the mind as I am facing it now will be equal within everyone else and thus as I face my point I will be able to support and assist others to also see that what seems crazy and impossible and even radical is simply pre-programming holding us back from breaking through our fears. And as long as what we are doing is within self-honesty one and equal to our expression sanding within such a point will be natural and not a fighting and reactive process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT believe in myself and my potential within me for creating change and effecting this world for a better world that is best for all life. And to within this hold back so much and so many times in fear, in self-judgement, in insecurities and so much mind shit that I have never even given myself a chance to stand up and show my head in the crowds for something different, something that will NOT immediately been smiled upon, yet if I stand as me as my expression in passion and obsolete principle of what’s best for all life, I will be guided one and equal and bear the fruits one and equal.

To end it off – I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make this WAY bigger than what it is within my mind, as the mind tend to already place oneself in the Famous seat in the spotlight, which is a false idea and not and Ideal way to approach anything in expectations, Be here in breathe moving direct within physical reality and no illusions.






Day 601 - My Eqafe Hangout Day 4 of 21

For tonight, I have an Eqafe Hangout that I participated in, I will post the link here.



Please, take an Hour to watch somthign different than the usual series, or movie that the system provides, also take a look at the Interview we are talking about here in the hangout.

The Quantum time illusion - https://eqafe.com/p/reptilians-the-quantum-time-illusion-part-11

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the MIND is MINE and that I can be a MINE that mines my own physical body as much as I want to, not realizing and seeing that what I accept and allow within me, I am also accepting and allowing within this world, and If I can not even stop myself then how can I expect myself to stop what is being done on a global scale and change this world to a place that is Best for all life, as heaven on earth, as my actual true desire that I have denied myself since I was a child, but suppressed it and gave into living as a Mind Zombie only consuming life.


Day 600 – I am Capable of anything, am I? Day 3 of 21



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into my imagination of what I am capable of when and as I hear the words, or read the words – you are capable of anything, where I go into an alternate reality and totally disregard the reality that is here and who I am within and as this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am capable of anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to believe that I am capable of anything to distract me from reality and what is here as who I am and the actual physical limitations, challenges that I deal with daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disbelieve that I am capable of anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the disbelieve more than the belief, as the disbelief enforces my limitations, yet the belief takes me beyond my limitations and into imagination, and thus I see it isn’t a matter of believing but to live the words and to check it for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in a struggle between what my mind shows me I am capable of and what I am actually capable of within the physical reality, where what my mind is showing me looks so easy and real and accomplish able, yet when I move and direct the physical reality there are so much more that I haven’t considered or looked at.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be effected by the words – you are capable of anything – and to within this effect take myself to a positive polarity within me where I end up only hitting negatives in friction with this polarity and so give up on myself. Instead of being real with myself, seeing how can I in fact live the words – I am capable of anything, and to first and foremost realize that I am capable of anything and everything and this includes first developing, teaching and practicing and training and integrating what is necessary for me to be capable of anything and everything which includes anything and everything I must walk and face to stand as those living words.

Thus I see and realize that I missed the words completely in practicality, as I was hearing them within energy as imagination, and so when I look and see the word as living word, I can see that – I am capable of anything – implies everything that is required and inclusive of the process to be walked to actually live and stand as the words – I am capable of anything, and to not give up following an imagination as a vision of what the words imply and means as an end result, completely missing the journey that is inclusive of ANYTHING, and only through walking the journey to I become capable in fact.

Day 599 – there is NO happy ending pre-programmed Day 2 of 21




Excuse me if this blog comes through as angry or aggressive or whatever else you as the reader may experience, but this is how I talk in real life sometimes with people about these matters. Just not with energy behind it. The words and how I express them really brings the reality of the points forth for me to not fall in any illusion about what I am saying.

I found this hidden point within me, where I still believe that there is somehow a happy ending at the end of all of this, what if there is no happy ending, what if the only possible way for any happy ending is literally if everyone walks the Desteni Process? Then we are currently fucked. Haha (just a point of consideration) not to demotivate, but instead to motivate. To realize the commitment and walking and standing of myself. There is NO ending to this till we all have CREATED a happy ending, not waiting for pre-programming to lay out a happy ending that requires us to wait, which shows what? We are fucked, because then we are just going the same way as now. No different. And it starts with self-forgiveness, self –correcting, becoming the Virus of correction within one’s own life and environment for LIFE, oneness and equality as a living example.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as if there is going to be a fucking happy ending as the movies has taught me how shit works, no matter how shitty it gets.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is a happy ending for me in this story called LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as if everything is going to be okay for ME ONLY, while BILLIONS suffer on this exact same planet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can live my life and forget about everything else in this world because there is apparently NO matter what I do a fucking happy ending at the end of this story of mine.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to SEE and realEYES that Death is everyone’s ending and it isn’t happy, and at death we do not leave the shit behind that we have accepted and allowed as ourselves as this world, as above so below, as within so without, there is NO fucking escaping and no happy ending UNLESS I give up the mind and stand as life for all life in oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall in the illusions that has been sold to me on TV and Movies where no matter how much war or fighting or struggling happens there is always a ending where shit is happy and working again, which is not what will happen in this planet in reality, how the fuck do you reverse the damage you have done to your MOTHER earth? It requires YEARS if not decades of correction and deliberate change, there is NO fucking magical way to fix it, there is no government that is going to fix it, there is no secret society that is going to fix it, there is YOU and me waking up and fixing it right now and HERE as we are capable but we have a problem, the mind is in the way, it is our fucking god. We can’t stop consuming, we can’t stop even the thoughts, and how are we going to change? Where is this happy ending?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a fairy tale movie that has been sold to me where the end of the world is coming closer but somehow I can remain calm, somehow I still believe that there is a fucking happy ending????

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is such a thing as a happy ending at all, when a child can be sold as a sex slave and be raped to death by the age of 7, where is the fucking happy ending?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there will be a happy ending ONLY for me, what a selfish cunt, while my mother earth is dying, in fact I can see it, there is no place or space for a happy ending, MY fucking earth that I live on is being molested and raped by the people that gives power to the systems that are here, you and me. Take responsibility.

I forgive myself that haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize the TRUE extend to what we are fucked and that there is NO happy ending in this story, it isn’t pre-programmed and I cannot rely on a pre-written script to just play on everyday as who I am as what I live and what I stand for as self-interest and the mind, I must stand up HERE not tomorrow, I must reach my fellow humans NOW not tomorrow, I must stand as the change HERE not tomorrow, I must stand as LONG as it takes till there is a fucking happy ending created and here, but the signs for that is so slim and non-visible – there is no hope at all, get real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in an isolated fairy tale where I can blind myself to reality and live only for my happy ending, yet missing everything that is burning and suffering around me, as if my happy ending is the ending LOL, after every happy “ending” the story continues and the shit is still here and I must stand up and face it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to GIVE up for the sake of a happy ending just for me and to forget about all of me as earth/life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget about everything and to only focus on my fairy-tale happy ending. Till something happens to me, then I suddenly want to change shit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that IF I do not stand and give up my fairy-tale idea/dream pre-programmed shit then I cannot expect anyone else to do so, and thus I am accepting and allowing the end of Life as we know it with everyone else, for illusion happy endings.




Day 598 – The root cause of all Addiction Day 1 of 21



watch this video - https://www.facebook.com/upliftconnect/videos/846444885492494/?pnref=story and see they haven't done real investigation actually, but it is a cool start for now, see what helped the addicts in the video wasn't connecting really, it was just they are busy with REAL things and not the mind, the physical was and is their grounding point, stability and so they could stay out of the mind where the real addiction is. - http://upliftconnect.com/opposite-addiction-connection/

IF you truly want to end addictions, any of them, stop your mind, and rebirth YOU at Desteni.org and the online course DIP lite and Pro

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek the root for my addiction from an outside source other than myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek the cause for my addictions within a form of reason outside of me to set me free from my addictions.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that any and all addiction that I have comes from me, and that I must give any and all addiction authority FIRST and foremost, and no matter how much I want to blame or give reason to my environment and circumstances for why I am addicted, I cannot deny that I make the decision every single time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to believe the next best explanation for why I have addictions as to justify sources outside of myself and to not to have to take self-responsibility for myself and can rather blame and be subject to outside sources and never be held accountable for my actions.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that any addiction I form as relationships I form with certain things within my environment comes from the relationship I have formed with myself, where this relationship that I have with myself is the first problem I must deal with, and thus the MIND, as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that consciousness is the first addiction I have formed with my own relationship with myself, where I have made consciousness ME, as the thoughts, feelings and emotions as energy, where I have become addicted to the energy that the mind consciousness systems generate within me and to act on these thoughts, feelings and emotions as if they are ME, as if they are real. And so when I form addictions outside of myself they are mere reflections of what I have already accepted and allowed within myself as my thoughts, feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to fully see and realize that thoughts and participating in thoughts is and addiction, as I can see that the thoughts I give attention and make valid within me gives me a certain experience where I indulge within and act out, live.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to fully see and realize that the emotions I indulge within IS an addiction, as it is an energetic experience that I am giving power and authority to over myself and to let this chemical reactions as emotion that I created within me through my acceptances and allowances direct and create my world/life, no different than a drug addict, or alcoholic, or someone that cannot stop gambling, as those things are mere outer creations of how I create within myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to fully see and realize that feelings are an addiction – a chemical reaction(s) that I create within myself through accepting and allowing certain thoughts and to participate within them to give me certain experiences to give something else power and control over me to decide for me how I must experience myself and to then create and live my live according to what I feel.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot stop the addiction of the mind and that it is harmless, that it is innocent, that it does not affect anyone else, the same reasoning’s addicts have we have to why the mind is US and not a problem, not the cause of the problems, as we have developed to many reasons and justification to why the mind is amazing and never actually really investigating the effects and causes within the reality of us living as mind consciousness systems, till we become REAL addicts that are involved in porn, sex, alcohol, drugs name them all that then abuse and misuse what is here that causes the extensive pain and abuse within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just like a real addict find it hard to admit that I am addicted to the mind and that the mind has power and control over me, that thoughts, feelings and emotions control my live every day, no matter what I want to do, when a mood sets in, when someone else shout at me, when I am happy, I follow the energy, I follow the experience just like any addiction and addict does.

When the Failure Character takes over - application to correction is the way forward - Day 597



Self-correction takes one moment in self-directed movement to apply and live. This is an act of self-forgiveness if it is done within self-directed movement, not based on how you feel, it is to move and direct self regardless of how one feels and to breathe and move forward.

About a Month ago I started a 21 day challenge of writing Self-forgiveness in my blogs. I failed.
My failure did not come as me saying, Ok I am not doing it today, or I do not feel like doing it today, in fact it was my “desire” to write my blog for that day. Due to circumstances, I had no laptop, no internet and I was in a completely different environment the day I broke this challenge.

The Feeling of failure and disappointment came over me the following day, for not completing this challenge. I felt that I have not only failed me but everyone else that was following this challenge of mine, and even some that joined in on the same challenge.

I did not write a Blog that following day either, due to me still being in this different environment and having NO laptop, no internet, and I stayed at this different place for a week. I saw no possible way for me to continue with the challenge, I had my phone with me and some shared wifi at times.

After the week was over and already seven days of no writing happened, the judgement of failure has taken over to such an extent that I did not even feel like writing anymore, I felt that it was a waste of time now to continue with this challenge, the point of the challenge was missed, I had two options, starting over or not continue the challenge at all.

Then, another week passed, and I have done nothing. I have succumbed to my experience of failure, in fact I have now been living this failure, this failure has now become a norm, I have accepted and allowed it to exist as me, as who I am within this challenge, this point. Not only did it effect my writing, the challenge, I started seeing this point of failure coming through in all parts of my life, a sort of depression, giving up on things, and feeling like just not continuing doing what I have done in terms of writing, social media, showing my face, speaking out, placing my words, and standing openly, because of one point of failure, that I have judged instead of forgiving myself and starting over, has now effected all parts of life, without even noticing. It became normal actions, as it my life was changing naturally into that of a failure.

This is why I write today, because this is my actions of forgiving myself and letting go of what the mind took advantage of and directed my reality, and the real power lies within action/living, not thinking and festering within the mind on what happened, what was, who is judging me, me judging me, and getting lost in an alternate reality.

I expected forgiveness from others, I expected others to understand my situation, I expected approval from others to start over, that it is okay, Yet it never came, so I waited, one week after the other, and then another week more, no one was giving me the thumbs up to start over, only I had that power and authority, no matter how bad I have judged my failure, I must stop and forgive and start over for myself.

So I will from Monday/Tomorrow start over with my 21 days challenge of writing self-forgiveness and I will myself to walk this point for myself.

The reality of I have Limited Time, Day 11 0f 21 – Day 596



Realizing that there is a limited time this life time is quit a scary realization. We somehow live as if death will never come for us, as if we have more time to wait and to postpone and to participate in our daily patterns, habits, and how we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be.

Yet, the reality is, there is an end time, a point where it is too late. When this time is, is unknown, yet we know it is here, Death is probably the only fact we can all confirm currently in this world, and NO opinion or belief or idea about it, will change that fact, you and me are going to die. Our flesh is going to rot and return back to the earth to substance.

We do however have opinions, believes and Ideas about what happens after death, when “we” move on – yet this is all it is, opinions, believes and ideas, because I can ask myself one simple question that will bring this point of what happens after death to me to a stable realization of, shit, I am fucked after death - this question is – who is moving on as “me” after death?

Let me explain this question – but one has to be really self-honest within looking at it. Let’s say I have about 10 different personalities – these personalities are determined by who I am with, where I am and what I am doing, they are all different, and we can all confirm these different personalities, where we are different people, living different lives – so who the fuck is moving on after death? Which personality? Who are you? The fact that I/you are not certain on who we are without any personality, means we are fucked, because the fact that personalities can change shows they are not real and thus will not continue after death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the illusion that WHO I am currently as personality and characters formed within energy in and as the mind as Programming/brainwashing from and of my parents/society/culture and so on will live for ever, seeing and realizing just as moods can change, which shows that any personality/character isn’t real as it can just change, so will I change at death and NOT know who I am and so I know that I will be fucked and End at death, and Yet I continue to live as if who I am is just fucking perfect and normal and that everything will be okay.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the IDEA and Believes sold to me by those that has gone before me that I will continue to exist after death without ever actually creating myself, and thus I can just live on as if I am going to live and exist forever and thus do not really have to give a shit about myself or this world, because when death comes I will be save, which is a LIE, as I know I cannot tell what happened or where I came from before I was born, so who the fuck can tell me what’s going to come and if it is real or not? Especially if I myself cannot even at will leave my body as I know I do not exist yet, but only energy as personality as energy as the mind which ends at death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will exist and live on after death without actually creating myself, completely living in an Illusion of reality of consumerism, where we believe shit can be bought or just given to us if we have money, the rotten child syndrome.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the illusion that I exist just because I am here, yet I Fear death, which shows I do not yet exist because I fear me now existing after death, and thus I know this is a confirmation to myself that as long as I fear Death, I know I am not a living being yet, as Death will “change” me. And as long as I can change and not stand as LIFE in all dimensions, then I am not real HERE as all life as who I am in fact within common sense, yet not realized as a living fact as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can wait till tomorrow to changer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I am not changing a pattern or habit then I might as well accept it for now and maybe later on change it, as I am too lazy to just fucking breathe and change.

I forgive myself That I have accepted and allowed myself to AVOID looking at the fact that I have limited time here in this form on this planet for now to create myself in FACT as LIFE and to change the Bullshit on all dimensions of this existence starting with myself right HERE and not tomorrow or in ten years or fucking a maybe, but to actually push in each breath the points that is HERE and so move every day to create myself as a LIVING physical being and to remove myself from the debt based MIND as personalities and characters that is based on the past and depends on the past to exist.



When the world isn’t changing blame the world, Day 10 of 21 – Day 595




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Blame people, the world for not seeing common sense and within self-honesty that they can be the change that is necessary, seeing and realizing that I am externalizing this point onto others, and thus not taking the point back to self, and so as I see others do not change, I get discouraged, I feel more dis-empowered and as if chances for change is even less, and so I Blame others for how I am starting to experience myself and thus how I am living and acting in response to this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself o dis-empower myself through what see others are doing within falling and no standing as the solution and to within this Blame others for my stance, what I stand for and to be the living example, to compromise myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put hope in others to stand and to stand one and equal with me and to place my stance on this hope, and so as I see others fall and go off track I lose hope and within losing this hope I compromise my stance, and attempt to compensate for others and so as I attempt to compensate I start blaming other people for my burden being even more, and thus I see and realize that I am attempting to carry the responsibility of others on me and so when I feel burdened and like giving up, I blame others, yet I am the one who placed the burden onto myself and compromised my stance and thus lost my stance, and so also go on to blame others for me losing my stance, and thus I see and realize that I cannot blame, as all my actions was my decisions, following fear and paranoia and thus showed me that I wasn’t standing actually from the beginning, and so this gives me the opportunity to reflect and to take self-responsibility once again and to stop the creation of the blame game.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for me being discouraged.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for my failures.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place hope in others and to even participate within hope and thus lose touch with reality and with my own process, my own standing as an example, as I am looking outward instead of inward and what stands here as me and that this stance must stand and be able to stand alone for eternity, even when no one else stands.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to externalize my standing and to make it dependent on others, realizing that I must stand with others and that with others this process of global change is the only possible way, yet those that come and go in the meantime should not change my standing through values I have placed on certain people and their standing and what it means.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to SEE no hope within this world and to within this create hope of illusions within my daily living where I place hope in how I see others stand and move and direct, and thus when such a person dies or disappears I suddenly am faced with myself and seeing and realizing that I haven’t yet in fact fully been living as the example I would like to see within this world as change and so become dishearten, discouraged and the possibility for me to fall becomes even greater and so I blame others and yet here I stand as the example of why others failed and thus I never stood myself as the example for why others can and must stand. So I see and realize I must change my stance, realign my principles, and check my starting point, how I go here, why I am here, and what is the FIRE within me doing this for me and all life, as I see I have forgotten though externalizing myself and living in a Blame game that made me LAME and thus unable to effectively move and direct myself.

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