Day 282 – Doubt Part 7 – a doubtful world.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I grew up in a world of doubt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the world live in now and that feeds me and gives me shelter is all possible because of money, and that money can always be taken away from me in a single moment, seeing and realizing that I have been aware of this as a child as I observed and seen how those that has gone before me behave living their lives within money, the fights, the arguments and the things I heard which was always fear and stressful and in doubt of the life I was given.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow a world where my next meal is always in doubt as it depends on if I have money or not which depends on the system and what’s happening with the entire system at any given moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I grew up knowing that there are children out there that has no food/parents or hoe and that I could easily be them at any time if what I have was taken away from me, which creates fear of my entire life in general which is living in doubt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I have developed self doubt from the reality of what I grew up in, that I was brought into a world and raised in a world where I can either have a good life or be abused either way as the system I had to accept as normal was based on hope.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not se and realize that I am not living in a world where my life is certain and definite and that it all depends on money which is always fragile and in doubt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to be confident within the current way the world is and that it will provide for me while billions around me on my one and the same planet are dying of hunger/disease/murder/rape/war/famine that is all human created through and by the very same system feeding me with money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that if I do not have confidence within myself within the current world and the way of life we are all accepting and allowing as normal that there must be something wrong with me, not seeing and realizing that the doubt I have within the current world system is in fact me having confidence within myself that the current way of life is not normal and MUST change and cannot be trusted at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize the confidence in me to doubt the current system and to from that perspective question it and my life and what is being accepted as normal to not accept it and to see what is here and to bring it all to a stop and change to life and be and do what is best for all life in all ways.

Day 281 – Self Doubt Part 6.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself when and as I say something of common sense and other people disagree.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself when and as those that disagree are Many and I am but one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose confidence within myself when and as there are disagreement within my world from the many.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place confidence within the many as if they somehow always know better and that I know less and not what I speak of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a false sense of confidence in the many as a way to not to have to take self responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not doubt the many/society as a way of questioning the many/society and the confidence I place in society as always having the right way and knowing what they are doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself just because there are many speaking up and against what I say as if that must be enough evidence that I am wrong and must doubt myself, not seeing and realizing that this must give me more confidence as I am saying the right things that forces people to also question reality and what they are accepting and allowing to exist here as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place self value in the doubts I have, instead of seeing and realizing that the doubt I have is red flags for me to look at myself and to correct myself and breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that common sense and what is best for all life requires confidence to speak about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as something is in fact best for all life and within common sense that no confidence or doubt is required to speak it as it is fact and real and that only/,mostly lies and deception requires to be conned as having confidence to speak about and that it requires doubt as the polarity to work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that self doubt comes in when and as I am not standing within myself as who I am in fact as the words I speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I am speaking and doing something for others that I will always have doubt as it is done from the starting point of self interest and not best for all life which is where I say what is real straight forward and to the point with no need to impress or CONvince others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that only because we have created a world of deception and abuse is something such as confidence required to sell the deception and abuse and thus there will always be doubt in dishonest living till we change this world/ourselves to a place that is best for all lie where no one need to have to develop confidence as no one will have doubt as we will live in a world of certainty and loving thy neighbor as thy self.

Day 280 – Self Doubt Part 5, Doubt as Support


DO U BT
I just now faced a really weird point – I said something, I made a video a long time ago about animals being shot on farms for the sake of reducing “profit loss’ on farms, where I say that the farmers are losing profit but the animals are losing everything from the farmer being there in the name of profit, the animals loses his food, his home, his Life and his everything and literally just survive till death and have to take food from the farmer, where else?? Nothing is left for them, and now they are suddenly called thief's and stealing!! Seriously, animals don’t know there is such a things as stealing, the earth has always before given to them and provided unconditionally till the human came and now call it stealing and then kill the animal for it, because it has a profit/money loss.

And now after all the common sense and looking at the reality of it, I can see it is a pretty awesome point I opened up, and then everyone that comments on the video disagree with me and keeps telling me I am stupid and small and know nothing and can’t see the bigger picture etc etc.

Then there comes this sudden moment of self doubt, doubting that what I have said might be wring and that they might be right, then I take a deep breath and realize WHAT THE FUCK, of course I am making common sense, fucking look at it, it undeniable.

Yes there is that moment of doubt that I must look at WHY, the justification of why I am giving in and not standing in absolute certainty.

I find it interesting that all the peoples comments push that exact point where they ask me for the proof and the evidence and the numbers and the calculations that farming is fucking up wildlife and pushing animals to extinction – so here I am with common sense where I see directly the reality and they can’t see the obvious connections - as if something greater and higher is maybe instead killing the animals and that farming as we are doing now is completely harmless and not having any consequences.

So now I face the doubt, why us the doubt there, I see this doubt is because I am one standing in the face of the many voices saying the same thing. So it is on the believe that if many people say the same thing then it must be the truth and thus I must be wrong, because the many seem to see the same thing and I don’t, I see it differently, so I must doubt myself.

Yet I can see through this, because I understand how the mind fucks with me, Know thy self, I see it is in reverse, it is to stand no matter what with the common sense and the self honesty as Life, Life’s got my back and I have Life’s back, we are the same back, so I may be one human physical body speaking but I have life behind me, they might be a group but they are speaking against that which gives them life and breathe, it is obviously not recommended.

So i am learning to stand and to breathe and to not cave in just because others are saying differently, just because the group disagree does not mean they are right and I am wrong, if and when I see and realize that I stand within certainty within myself within what I stand as, as the physical reality as life as actuality then There is never any reason to doubt myself, my doubt is showing me where I still have to work on myself and to stand, to breathe and not be directed by doubt, but common sense and self honesty and what is best for all life is/must always be what I move myself as.

So I see and realize that before I speak and open up a point for all, that I must write about it to have clarity to create my confidence and to not have any assumptions or hopes within the vlogs/blogs and to be here as all I speak as being absolute in each word, this can only be done through researching and writing and integrating the information as me to live it as me and to share it equally with all to awareness as I made myself aware in oneness and equality where I bring the points to physical reality within common sense as being obvious, so that I can say what needs to be said in simplicity and clarity and not speak in circles and create self doubt.

I create myself in each moment/actions/decision.

Day 279 – Self Doubt Part 4

Day 277 - Self Doubt Part 2
Day 278 - Self Doubt Part 3

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Doubt myself according to the input given to me from others, instead of seeing and realizing that the input from others is support for me to see where I can correct myself instead.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that self doubt is always about me and not what others say/think/judge about me, thus seeing and realizing that it is that I must know who I am and within that stand and walk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that other people are responsible for me doubting myself/

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let others people determine for me who I am and to this doubt myself as I give away myself responsibility of deciding for myself who I am and thus what I can do or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Doubt myself as being capable of directing others as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Doubt myself as being capable of learning new vocabulary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have confidence within myself as being capable of learning new vocabulary through holding past experiences against myself where I struggled and failed, instead of seeing and realizing that it was a point of reference for me to work on and to learn from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself within learning new words and to effectively integrate them as me and living them as who I am due to past experiences where I failed and judged myself as not being capable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not being able to learn new vocabulary with full understanding of the words,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if and when I fail to learn new vocabulary that it means I must doubt myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I fail to learn new vocabulary effectively the first time that it must mean that I cannot have confidence within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that something must be wrong with me if I cannot learn new vocabulary the first time and thus I must not ever show or have confidence within myself that I can or I will just disappoint myself and experience the bad experience again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear experiencing self doubt and to within this avoid being confident within myself as to avoid the experience of self doubt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that to not give self confidence to myself as who I am that I am already just giving self doubt to myself instead the whole time, seeing and realizing that it is a polarity game of enslavement and limitation.

Instead I see and realize that I must stop separating myself from “self confidence” and to live self confidence as who I am and not as a energy experience, as all energy is polarity based and needs positive and negative to move.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek out where I can doubt myself so that I can find the things where I can be confident and to then get a energy high from those points, instead of seeing and realizing that I am within this limiting myself and enslaving myself to the mind as energy movement, instead of moving myself as the physical in each breathe to do what needs to be done as self confident, seeing and realizing that self confidence is a living action of who I am to always do what is best for all life in all ways.

To be continued.

Day 278 – Self Doubt Part 3

Self Doubt, looking at the words of self doubt I see that doubting myself is something I also learned, I wasn’t born with confidence neither with self doubt.

How did I then develop self doubt through my life and why did I in particular accept and allow the doubting part of myself, the negative parts mostly/more.

This goes deeper as self doubt is a outflow of something else – Here I have to look at the bigger picture/reality of things, this means I have to go way back to the beginning where I was a baby and to within common sense assess for myself how this came to be.

In the beginning I was empty, I had genetics already that was passed on but in terms of my mind development there was nothing yet as thoughts/feelings/emotions, as they are all rooted from experiences that form memories that is stored within the physical body.

So now I can see it is a educational point, a point of how I was raised and what my environment impulse me with.

Since those are the first things that have “influence on me the moment I am born into this world.
So how as a child was doubt imprinted within me through my environment, I can assume and make things up and think about things that might have been, but I cannot remember YET!!

So I move back to basics, work with what is HERE, why is this the basics, because what is HERE as me as ALL of me is also the past, and my past present and my past futures and here I am as all of it the current manifestation, so I can see that who I am/have accepted and allowed myself to be as my past as the totality pf my past from the beginning of birth is still here as me.

So I will look at the present moment which includes my past and see direct.

I doubt myself in learning something new and that I will get it, I doubt myself as a Living being, I doubt myself within being able to handle LIFE, I doubt myself within expressing myself here, I doubt myself to let go, to breathe and to live, I doubt that I am more then what I am currently as I have always been who I am currently.

THERE is the point, I doubt that I can ever be more then who I am currently as I have always been who I am currently.

So here I see this part of me that is in doubt, I doubt that who I am as insecure will ever change, I doubt that who I am as fear will ever change, I doubt that who I am as all the thoughts/back chat I have will ever change, I doubt that I can even change as it always only feel like I have been adjusting instead of actually change.

So the doubt is rooted in all of me from birth till HERE, it is a general way of how I was raised and what was within my environment as the people and their behaviors towards me and the words they used and the attitudes and the set up of my environment I grew up in.

I see a point of when I was small – that those that has gone before me and that raised me always already had an IDEA/Belief and desired picture concept of me inside their heads that was constantly acted out towards me as who I should be as what they wanted me to be, expected me to be, and thus I was in those that raised me already molded to their Ideas/believes/hopes in their heads and could not be anything else already at that age.

I see the picture/memory – I am a little child standing in front of a bunch of adults, they are all looking at me and expecting something from me, I am supposed to sing and make them laugh/happy and I am apparently a good singer and cute they say, I do not want to do it, yet they are forcing me through creating Ideas in the group about me and how they believe me to be, so I believe it must be who I am thus I must now sing for the adults and make them happy/entertain them. I sing and I here remarks, It was great they say, they are laughing, I feel small and used – I don’t want to do that again.

In that memory I see how I can now create NO confidence in singing and where doubt is created in my ability to sing – this created no confidence over all and doubt within myself over all - as who I now have defined myself to be and Who I am, a good singer but yet I am laughed at and cute. The experiences was left within me to do with as I please as no one ever educated me on what feelings and emotions are and how they are created and where they come from. It’s a mess.

To be continued.

Day 277 – Self Doubt Part 2

Day 276 – Self Doubt - Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Judge myself as un-able and not capable of taking on responsibilities within the weird believe that those that are capable and able are naturally born with such capabilities and thus I must be less then and that something is wrong with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had to be born with the awesomeness of being able and capable of taking responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people that have the capability and that are able to take on responsibilities are awesome and better than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize the physical programming a person had to go through as a child as the education the child received which is determined by where the child is born and the circumstances of the child’s environment is that determined if the other person developed points of responsibility or not, and thus to see and realize that one isn’t born with such “ability” it is something we learned and proof to ourselves within applying the physical actions of “taking responsibility”, thus it isn’t a magical act as I have perceive it to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that to be able to take on responsibility one must have something magical within self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act out on this assumption that I can magically take on points of responsibilities, instead of seeing and realizing that when and as I do it this way that I create self doubt within myself as I do it in a magical energetic moment that does not consider anything but self interest which usually leads to me failing the responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I must start with taking on points of responsibilities that already can and have handled and to from there grow and expand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be patient with myself and developing the skill to take on ALL responsibility through working with what is here as myself first and to then expand from myself outwards into all that is here to Be LIFE in myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the responsibilities that I have firstly towards myself is small and not important and thus always attempt to take on more then what I can handle and fail myself, setting myself up to only doubt myself more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a Believe that I call my sense of responsibility that I must always take on more then I can handle otherwise the world will go to shit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to take on points of responsibilities without an energetic experience directing me to making such a commitment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Doubt myself even after proofing to myself that I can take on big points of responsibilities after years of proofing it to myself just because someone else said something or made a sound.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by what others have to say about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make what others say about me important, not seeing and realizing that it does not matter what others have to say about me I am the one deciding who i am in each breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give permission to all those around me to influence me through accepting and allowing myself to be who I am as self doubt as the mind as judgments/beliefs/ideas/opinions about myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I am influenced by others and their words that whatever they say isn’t new to me as they are just voicing/confirming what I have already judged and placed onto myself by myself within my mind and now I feel that they are the ones influencing me, yet they are only showing me what I am already accepting and allowing within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to what I think/belief about myself as past experienced that come up as thoughts and emotions and feelings and to make it all true and thus identify myself as the past as all the memories recreating the present as my future as the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I stand completely in absolute certainty of who I am as who I decide I am as that which is best for all life in all ways as Me that nothing and no one can ever influence me as I stand clear and in self trust and living with no fear as the mind as energy as the past.

To be continued.

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