Day 395 - Male Ego and the fear relationship Part 3

Day 393 - Male Ego and the fear relationship Part 1

Male Ego and the fear relationship Part 1

Day 394 - Male Ego and the fear relationship Part 2

What is a Monument – a monument is something you built in honour/respect/glory for someone else for what they have achieved.

Dictionary definition: “A statue, building, or other structure erected to commemorate a famous or notable person or event.

What does “commemorate mean, Dictionary Definition: Recall and show respect for (someone or something) in a ceremony.

So how do I then Create Monuments out of Moments?

Let’s use a moment for instance - I am at the river, we need to get to the other side, everyone takes the bridge, I decide to jump over – so I run and I jump and I make it over, it was done form the starting point of EGO – I did it within disbelief of myself, I did it within fear of not making it, yet doing it, I did it just not to be “regular” – I did it to attempt to show and proof that I am better, I can achieve something everyone else that is there with me can’t do it, and the ego/mind gets such a nice kick out of it that the entire time that event will be what sticks with me, I feel good about myself, I feel like I have achieved glory, I deserve respect, I must be honored, and in that moment I would even not mind to have an actual monument made for me to show it off to everyone else that comes there (the river place)

for instance in history we will only recall the ‘great moments’ and the ‘heroes’ and we forget all about the hardship and sickness people went through. So here it is the same with you and the river, after the event takes place – all you remember is the positive side of the story as you being great, you don’t even remember the fear/negativity that was behind it, and so you change history/how things happened to just ‘you being great’ and forget about the part where you feel less than everyone else as the reason/motivation why you jumped in the first place)

This type of moments happens a lot, on a regular basis with small things that seems like it does not matter even, it even goes as far where I would do it just for myself and I would become my own crowd, cheering me on and so forth. By small I mean, I would play with a bottle and then flip it in the air and catch it perfectly again, then I would glorify myself just for that, but while doing it, the physical action, there is anxiety that it might go wrong any time, and then before I even did it I had fear that I am incapable of doing something such as that, even so small.

Ok so there is a few examples giving perspective – so now down to what are the initial points to look at within this, first of all, taking the point back to self, where I believe it is to prove something to someone else, it is actually to proof to myself. Because I have created a disbelief within myself. And through all those moments that I create monuments out of, I am enforcing the disbelief within myself no matter how much I do it and perfect it; it is the starting point of why I do it that is what matters.

The starting point as the ego/Mind is fear – here the fear is ‘fear not being able to’ and thus disbelief within myself. Which comes from ANYTHING within this world such as school/education/parents/friends/TV/Media MOVIES and so many other things that we accept and allow to influence us, we are always under an influence, that’s why flu exist, to get some of that (In Flu wins) Out – because we let the influence WIN, No integrity to stand within and as breath and decide for ourselves who we are, because we were never taught that we can make those decisions and that they must be what is best for all life – if who we are isn’t what is best for all life, which is also standing one and equal as life, then then we can only exist as a ego, because its self interest, not best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Make/create monuments out of moments within my head and to prey off the energetic experience of that to feel good about myself as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Create a belief about myself that I must be a bad person and not good enough a person, and thus I must prove myself to others within doing things that are impressive or seemingly big, so that I can feel big and impressive about myself, seeing and realizing that if I am looking for a feeling of being big and impressive then it will only last a while as it isn’t real and based on actual self-definitions of who I decide I am in each and every breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see or even admit to myself that I feel shit and useless about myself and instead I attempt to always hide it within impressing an Image of who I want to be onto others through seeking out opportunities/moments to do something out of the ordinary and to then creating monuments for myself in my head that I have to always check up on and keep in good shape and good condition through doing the same thing over and over or else it will fall and break and then the Image will be lost and I fear that if the image is lost I will be seen as nothing and thus be useless and have no purpose. – which is really just me fearing that my own belief/definition of myself will be validated/confirmed and has actually nothing to do with other people (interesting, it’s like we fear being right about ourselves hahahaha)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having any purpose, and within this seek out purpose in doing meaningless things in moments that seem big and impressive just to be noticed and to be “kept in mind” by others to feel like I have purpose, seeing and realizing that within this I am accepting and allowing myself to be subject to others and in fear of what others are thinking and wanting/expecting the entire time, and to somehow connect that directly to myself personally and what I do and how I act and so forth, seeing and realizing that this is Not how I want to live my life and to be a puppet of my own fears.


To be Continued.

Male Ego and the fear relationship SF - Part 2

Continuing from Day 393 - Male Ego and the Fear relationship Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move myself only when there is energy moving me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Believe that energy as the Ego which is from the mind as thought/feeling/emotion is required for me to move myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only move once I experience some form of energy as the ego which is at its foundation a fear energy/negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move as the ego as fear where fear is being the motivator for me moving.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require fear to move, and that I must first experience this fear to be motivated to move, and then out of fear create an Ego which is a cycle of patterns that will always ensure fear to exist within my life so that I can always be motivated to move.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as and participate within a polarity construct where I create the negative to achieve the positive and to always go back to the negative to motivate myself again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make this polarity construct a “norm” within my life, where I believe it is the only way I can move myself, and to within this always experience myself as fear as negativity, to then as the ego create positivity from using the negativity as a motivator to move.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create fear within me as a constant experience as myself as a way to keep myself fueled and ready to act/move.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build trust within fear as my motivator because of the perception that I have that it has always worked, because I am still here and breathing so fear must have helped me, seeing and realizing that when I look back, all that has ever happened was is that I kept myself in one place, I built a prison for myself to never truly live and to be life and to grow and move forwards, as the fear functions in a way where I have to fall back all the time to be able to re-create the fear to use it again as a motivator, no matter how many times I overcome it or walk through it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that Fear within itself is Nothing, it is a energy/experience and not an actal movement, and that the movement comes from me only, seeing and realizing that if I experience Fear and then move myself or don’t move myself, that it isnt the fear doing it, it is in fact the physical movements/actions, and that when fear is removed, then the actions can still remain, and then the actions isnt reactions which is a compromise, I can actually consider the next move or be clear within my movements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see that fear is passive energy, and that it requires the physical to move, which means fear is really useless and only makes me feel shit the whole time, experience myself shit the whole time, which then leads to me physically moving myself either way into positive or negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make fear this big power within me and giving it this extraordinary power within my imagination, seeing and realizing that in reality fear has and is nothing unless the physical moves and follow on the fear, and even if the fear isn’t there, the physical can still move the same, and thus fear is only a Prison of self within the mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that when I use fear as the ego to move me to be my motivator, that I am conditioning myself within a vicious cycle of self-abuse, where I beat myself up within always scaring myself and literally bringing myself down within myself just so that I can get to a point of being motivated again and do it all over again and so the cycle continues.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to the experience of fear and how I use that fear to motivate me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and have defined myself as being “unable” to move myself without fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot exist without the ego, as I have defined everything about me as the ego as fear in every way of my being

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear living without the ego/fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deem myself as unable to live without fear/ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I have no fear that I will not know how or when to move myself – seeing and realizing that I have always only moved myself within self-interest as the fear only existed for and as my self-interest and thus once I stop the fear, I will lose self-interest within fear and thus I can start moving myself within what is best for all life as myself and that requires common sense and not fear to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fear not being able to move myself from a starting point of self-direction in alignment to what is Best for All and within that fear of ‘not being able to’, allow myself to only move myself within and from fear – not seeing and realizing that within doing so I am already failing myself and thus really have nothing to lose and should just go ahead and take that step of letting go of the fear and unconditionally walk the process of aligning my self-movement and self-direction to that which is Best for All as I see, realize and understand that I have nothing to lose but only to gain

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that If I do not fear everything in my life that I will not be able to control my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I ever had any control of my life when fear – the ego - has always been in control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have been controlling my life with fear, not seeing and realizing that fear has been controlling EVERYTHING within my life and that I have always only been the puppet doing what the fears tell me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to do what my fear/ego tells me to do or I will face my fears coming true, not seeing and realizing that when I follow what my fear shows me or tells me that I am actually slowly creating and making my fears real, when all they ever did was exist within my mind and now I am actually playing out scenarios following the fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot exist without fear and that I will always have an energy experience within me, not seeing it possible to end EGO/fear and to live as the physical breathing one and equal moving self within self-honesty and common sense – seeing and realizing that this is yet again the ego creating a fearful cycle.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not se that in the past there was moments/times that I did not have any fear and that this is proof to me that I can axist without fear and that fear isn’t necessary, seeing and realizing that fear is something that was taught to me and shown to me within how the world as a whole exists and within how I was raised and taight by those that has gone before me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition myself to fear, and to ignore the proof of the past that I do not need to be conditioned within fear as I have as a child lived without fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I am Fueling myself up with fear/ego as energy, that that fuel must come from somewhere – and just like how we are fucking up the earth body we live on through seeking out oil and all energy sources, so am I doing the same with my body, using real natural resources to create temporary fuel just to survive – live as fear.

Male Ego and the fear relationship Part 1

Ego - (E) is for Energy - so its Energy on the GO, the ego requires energy to move, to go and this is acquired through creating the fear points and using it, a vicious cycle that becomes “normal”, gathered in quick fill-ups, and Fear is like the perfect way to stay fueled, because fear as the foundation of ego is also what motivates the ego to go and search for E (Energy).

So here is what I see - when I have fear within me all day, I am fueled and thus the Ego can use this fear (energy) to do the things that is required to make the Ego blow up like a balloon, it inflates moments, making moments monuments.

The question then is, why does males (me) make it a must have, the ego, why do I believe I require the ego, that I need to have the ego – it comes from lack of self-respect, self- honor, and self – integrity living as the physical as life, where instead  the mind is validated above all – and thus false Images, where we attempt to become the Image and Likeness of the false images of the mind instead of equalizing ourselves with the image and likeness that is real as the physical – which is yet to be understood through the process of stopping the mind.

One example.

I have a fear that I am weak, that I am not strong like other’ guys, and this fear motivates my ego/mind to do things that are small and make it seem like a big thing, like - I am asked to fill up bottles of water, there are six bottles of water that needs to be filled, each bottle is twenty liters (20kg), that is quite heavy to carry, in my mind I fear that I will struggle carrying these bottles and the fear comes from a point of comparison, where I Imagine in my head that other guys will be able to do this easily. So there I am creating fear to motivate me to do this task, the motivation is to also do this and to do it better, just to prove my imagination wrong.

So now when I go and fill up the bottles of water, I will fill up TWO bottles of water and I will carry two bottles of water together, and thus I will make something Big out of the situation - I initially had the fear of not being able to carry even one, and that I will not be able to do it when someone else in my imagination can do it.

PLUS - I had the fear that I would not be able to do the task that was asked of me, and fear that the person that asked me to do it will see me as weak and not have any use to do anything.

So now the ego has enough Energy to motivate me to GO, to move, but I am moving as energy which I am then conditioning myself to, to always require energy to move within this certain task, and my mind will always create the FEAR to have the energy, and everything in relation to doing this task becomes a fear.

This is a weekly task, and weekly I have fear, I have now find that my first point of Fear that i have created to motivate me to do it and to Prove my imagination wrong where I fear being less than someone else, through doing it and doing it 'better'. And this first point of fear is fear of forgetting, fear of not filling the bottles in time, and now I will remember to fill the bottles out of fear.

because the male ego can not take a hit as "being labelled as forgetful" so now everything becomes about keeping this energy UP, keeping the image and likeness up that the energy is creating, meanwhile, I simply have to move as the physical breathe by breathe, and who knows what possibilities lies within that, NO fear, but what will motivate me then?

And this way the Ego is really charged up to Proof all this self-created fears wrong - which originated from within the imagination, where the imagination creates inflated ideas/beliefs/opinions about the task and my relationship with myself within the task- which comes from self - definitions and believes that I have accepted and allowed to exist as me that came from outside influences, instead of me defining me through the fact that I am life equally as everything else, and thus the ego is a separation from that, not really separate but an illusion that it is, which separates me within everything I do and thus creates Fear all the time.

Day 392 – Success within writing Daily, the Ego exposed.

My first point on this topic took place on Day 10

It has been Five Days since I write a Blog, I have been busy and I have been tired, Yet I have had MORE than enough time after getting some rest, to write a blog. 

The secret reason for not writing or that I have been postponing writing for the past five days, Is because I had a moment with Leila where we were doing word re-definition on the word Yes. 

I have come to some REAL feedback within where I stand within writing and how I have pushed myself within writing. 

And doing the Writing and the Self forgiveness and the commitment statements with Leila I was able to see how awesome Leila is within her word placement, and being specific and following structure within how she places the words, and what hit me the most was That Leila could see what I could not see. This ended up being the obvious.

Within that moment of that observation, I Judged myself as being less then, and within this I have placed myself back two steps within myself, instead of breathing and taking one step forward through learning and correcting myself. 

I was also hit hard by how way more specific Leila was within her words because she actually knew many words to describe for instance one thing but with different angels to it, where I had only that one word dimension. 

I felt down and heavy, like pressure on my chest, I also within this judge every single thing  have ever written as NOT good enough, because of what I have seen now that could be possible through simple things such as writing and actually looking/seeing what I am writing and focusing on all dimensions on what I am writing. 

So I have been not writing for the past five days and I have been postponing facing ME/Myself within my writing, because now that I have seen what is possible, I know I cannot go back to how I did writing, and the resistance is to actually push myself within my writing to go there, to be that, to live that has to be walked through.

One of my Ego problems is that I do not like to ask for help, so I have been looping within this exact same point within writing for a very long time.

I told Leila about this point within writing and what I am facing, and we discussed the point, we came to an agreement that I write my Blog every day and send it to her for a check.

I am also not disregarding my improvements, I have definitely improved within writing and within reading and I have definitely changed a lot within and through writing. I am now at the next step that needs to be taken which I have been postponing because of a Ego point, a fear of asking for help and admitting I am stuck.

I have been stuck for a long time and I knew that by asking for help I would not be stuck, but instead I as the ego pretended to be okay and to continue on the same path. 

So My writing within my Journey to Life Blogs has been a success, I have through every day writing and placing myself in words visible to all, exposed myself day after day, I have written proof that I cannot hide from that I have been accepting and allowing as the ego. And here I have had enough. 

I am ready to help myself through asking and accepting and allowing help to be given.

Day 391 – Stress Character Part 2 commitments.

Day 391 – Stress Character Part1

I commit myself to practice daily my breathing and to feel my entire body within breathing to see where I am tense and stressed and to within breathing relax my body, to let go of the tenseness and to see what is the thoughts, the back chat the reason behind the specific parts of my body that tense up and to stop participating within such unnecessary patterns.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am tensed within my body to breathe and to move my body till it is out, to stretch and to support and assist myself to move in the physical and not in and as the mind as energy.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am stressed to investigate in that moment why I am stressed within what is going on in my mind in my back chat and my thoughts that are creating and generating the stress, and to be self-honest with myself about the point so that I can see what I am doing and within understanding stop and breathe and move on.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am stressed and moving myself according to being stressed to stop myself in my tracks and to slow physically down and breathe till I am moving as my breathe and to then continue moving as I did before if it is really necessary but not from the starting point of stress but from practicality.

I commit myself to when and as I am experiencing anxiety/fear and stress to not accept and allow myself to exist as it or for it to move/go into the rest of my day or the next moment and to stop and to breathe and to say’ till here and no further” as I walk as breathe.

I commit myself to stop stressing out about everything or anything just because I believe I have to.

I commit myself to face myself as the stress/anxiety that I have created as me and that I have accepted and allowed to exist as me for all these years, and to not do so anymore as I can see it is useless and bullshit.

I commit myself to practice patience and moving as breathe, as that is what is best for me and supportive for me and assisting for me, and when and as I support and assist myself within living as the physical, as the one reality that we all share, I am doing what’s best for all, as I move out from my mind out of self-interest and thus can start to see reality and what we as humanity have accepted and allowed as w hole as one body to create on our one planet for all life and to really get down to fixing it, creating solutions and presenting it to everyone.

Day 390 – Stress Character Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stress just by hearing the word relax.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear relaxing and breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when and as I relax and breathe and there is nothing internally such as anxiety/fear rushing me that I will not get tasks done or get anywhere and get into trouble.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that the stressed out character is a character that I have created within my childhood years as a protection mechanism, where I have learned that when and as I get yelled at or shouted at for not doing something, or getting someone done wrong and then when I go back and do it again while being anxious/fearful that the other person is feeling good, feeling that I am now learning my lesson, and that I have learned that if I do everything within such a behavior of being “stressed” fearful/anxious that the other people will believe I am busy and doing my best and thus leave me alone and that there is no need for yelling or getting me into trouble.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see that I have integrated this character as me completely as my physical through participating within the mind over many years as fear/anxiety and using the stressed character to manipulate others into believing that I am doing my best, I am trying me best, I am busy, I am not slacking, I am taking stress and therefore I am a good person. So no need to discipline Gian.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define discipline as shouting and screaming and being mean to someone else, to create fear/anxiety/stress within that person in relation to the certain point so that next time the person will activate the fear/anxiety/stress before they even work/do the certain point and move/direct and do the certain point within such an energy possession to do the job right, according to the memory that was imprinted with the experience during being disciplined, seeing and realizing how I have learned this discipline and thus I have become disciplined within being stressed when and as I have to do something as I have seen in the past that it keeps me save when and as I am stressed/anxious doing something and that the stress/anxiety motivates me to do to get the job done. Seeing and realizing that I have been living this stress/anxiety/fear as me all my life as discipline, believing that it is good for me, when in fact it is completely now paralyzing me from doing anything full on and getting it complete that is new as I am now getting to stressed out and have to much anxiety from the accumulation process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Hold on to stress and the Belief I have of stress and the experiences I had with stress within and as the mind where the mind is holding onto this only to protect itself and the energy experiences that has/is being generated through and by the stress character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must use stress to get by in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get and be addicted to stress, within the believe that stress saves my life and that stress is the only thing keeping my body together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can only fix problems and mistakes while being relaxed/

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge it as wring when and as I am relaxed about a problem, seeing and realizing that I have learned that the only way to handle a problem or a mistake is by being stressed about it, also seeing and realizing that if I was taught to laugh at problems and ignore them as a child then that is how I would have handled it now, seeing and realizing that most of my mistakes/problems I experienced was always about me and that I must be tresse4d about it, like not being smart enough in school, like maybe needing special glasses to read or I might fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect negative experience to the word relax, seeing that I have created this negative experience towards relaxing because I have experienced relaxing a something that must end and then I must become stressful again to do work/things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is impossible to relax and to get things done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear relaxing as I see that the fear is actually just me fearing that I won’t have any movement within me when I am relaxed to get things done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when and as I am relaxed while done work that I am doing it slower then what I can do it if I were to be stressed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being relaxed and chilled and calm when and as I do something, believing that when and as I am not stressed that I am not really doing it.

Day 389 - Just my luck, the Secret is a Scam Part 5

 The real Journey to real change

Continuing from 

Day 385 – Start at the Start Part 1
Day 386 - Where the Journey Began Part 2
Day 387 - The Journey with the Secret Part 3

 Day 388 - The secret, ask/belief/receive, I am still poor part 4

The secret was that point of hope that luck will come my way, so one day I went to the bathroom instead of a smoking break, I picked up a lotto ticket in the bathroom, it was dated for that day and it yet had to be played.

I thought this is it, this is the universe seeing my plea, I am asking and I have been believing with all my heart for months now, this must be it, tonight I will win the lotto, I ran to my friend and I told him and showed him, he got a bit jealous and I could understand.

That night came and I watched the lotto like a hawk, and I did not even have on number right, I was alone in the lounge with the TV, I sat there realizing that this was it, luck cannot come any better than this.

I decided that the secret is BULLSHIT, I can send out as much thought waves into the universe as I want, nothing will happen.

I realized at that moment that I was stuck in my life, I was facing the physical consequences of what I have created in my past like in school and my choices, and that the only way out is to physically go and change it.

But how, I did not have money to do anything like that, I did not have anything to do anything, I was going to have to be a waiter for seven years also and then maybe have some money to move on.

Then a sudden thought came to mind – Desteni, I had this OH SHIT, I forgot about Desteni, and common sense and practicality and self-forgiveness and breathing and self-honesty and that I have been hiding deep in my mind from facing what I have known is the way to go.

But there was something stopping me from standing up and taking self-responsibility as the Desteni message and walking it, walking the Journey to life with Desteni., I have been doing everything there is that was still acceptable by society, such as spiritualism/the-secret/meditation/crystals/LOA etc., but not Desteni, because the thing that stopped me was fear, because I knew what I was going to have to face once I walk the Desteni message. Myself and what I have accepted and allowed.

Coming next – The family process

Day 388 – The Secret, ask believe and receive, I am still poor Part 4

Continuing from day 385 – Start at the Start Part 1
Day 386 - Where the Journey Began Part 2
Day 387 - The Journey with the Secret Part 3

I experimented with many different things in my life to find my Journey in life, that special road just for me, that road that will make me rich and important, that journey that will teach me many lessons and where I will become wise or whatever, and I continued with this search even after I have been well aware of Desteni and the message of Desteni and the common sense that Desteni have presented.
So I knew secretly that whatever I do, it will fail, because I have already been exposed to self-honesty and common sense and I mean it is really hard to ignore reality, unless I find that perfect illusion to hide behind.

I watched Oprah one night and there she had these people on her show talking about the secret, I was confused by the entire show, I did not get it, I saw they were showing a book to buy but I hated reading, so that wasn’t a solution for me, or an option. But I was curious.

I then later on discovered a Video, we went and we rented this video to watch about the secret, I watched it with my family in the lounge, after watching the Video I was “amazed” suddenly I felt I had hope, I can still make it, there is a chance for me in this life.

Because if you read my first blog on this topic you will see why, I then understood the secret, it was placed in the most simplest way ever to do anything, Ask, Believe, Receive.

FUCK anyone will want to go for that, it is like so easy to do. At this time I was still a waiter, so every day I would go to work and I would really go into my head, into my mind and I would generate “positive” thoughts that today is the day, today I can play the lotto and win, today I can do something and it will change my life, I ask and I truly believe it, I even wrote a small motivation paper that said, stay positive, ask believe and receive, you create your world and so forth and sticked it onto the mirror in my parents bathroom.

I was really going for it. I talked to many people about it and we had discussion about it on the floor, one guy also saw the movie and he also belief it and was participating within it, so we had something in common and we would actually everyday motivate each other that today is the day one of our life's will change,. We would talk about hopes and dreams and what possibilities we have of our life’s changing right now, what the universe might be sending us today.

We even used the secret to motivate us to not have resistance or anything against any customers that came onto the floor, the nasty ones, the mean ones, the grumpy ones, the ones that never tip, because we would say things like, maybe that person is a billionaire and the universe send that person today to us and maybe he feels like he wants to give us a billion, who knows, so go and help that customer.
Obviously it never happened, we asked and we believed for months, his life was getting worse because he needed money and has been working as a waiter for seven years, he needed to move on and get somewhere, I don’t have a school degree and I am not the brightest either, I literally needed luck to change anything for me.

To be continued.

Day 387 – The Journey with the secret Part 3

Continuing from day 386 – where the Journey Began Part 2.

I am writing these blogs to clear myself from any self-created ideas/beliefs/opinions I have of myself and my past where I would always put myself in the BETTER light of things, when in fact the truth wasn’t so sweet or shiny.

And facing my fast and clearing it all up I find that I learn a lot, I see a lot and a lot opens up, I can be self-honest with myself about it all, no need to hide my past in the fear of what others may think and within that becoming an image that moves instead of a living being breathe by breath.

I have noticed what happens when I lie, the lie isn’t real but to the other person I just created something real, because to them its truth, and then I have to change myself and my whole LIFE story to fit the lie just to keep the illusion of the lie that it is truth for the other being, all for some silly reason that the truth would not be cool enough, or the truth would not make me seem better or awesome. 

This kind of lying has spread through my life like a virus, I became so used to lying about anything that it just seemed natural, because I have always been able to get away with it, and at the same time when I get away with it, I get better and better friends or I become more popular, depends on how I took the real story and changed it to a lie that is always for the best of my own self-interest, and I know what others are impressed by, so I always change my story to have those thing sin, and there I have successfully lied. 

So living this LIEf has become too difficult, because the lies were backed by truth, the real story and there was always someone else that knew the real story. So I have this constant thing of making sure the truth and the lie does not come together, or the bubble would be popped, because truth wins automatically, its always got physical evidence plus myself as the evidence.

I had to remember so many made up stories that I had to have to tell to so many different people and never confuse them, fuck it was all about bloating up my ego. 

This has nothing to do with the secret, but it does because Lies is loud and truth is always secret, and here we have a bunch of people that was smart enough to make the secret loud and the truth seem like a waste of time, I mean fuck the truth, just ask then believe and then receive, fuck the fact that you have to pay bills or having to work hard for money to survive, the facts suck, just use the secret.

And then they have the guts to add a massive LIE to the theory of the secret and how it works, they added made up beliefs about how it works in fact with awesome graphics in a DVD that was for sale, using so much things that can make sense but is simple bullshit, it’s like making it seem really possible through making pretty pictures that show you have it can be done and then simply let you try it, over and over. 

See the people who created the secret never tells us the true story, the story that is truly the reasons for why they got so stinking rich, number one of the truth is, all they had to do was sell the bullshit to us folks, they did not even have to ask or believe, they just had to deceive and manipulate and then receive, because the truth is, they know everyone is struggling with surviving, and they know everyone is thus vulnerable, and thus they knew they could make something seem amazingly possible and realistic and that people will fall for it and showing graphic displays of how it “does” work over and over will make people believe that its possible.

The secret of the secret is, They know that no human knows how the mind works and how thoughts work or how we have them or create them or where feelings and emotions come from, and thus they knew that they could make up any shit, any bullshit and anyone would fall for ii, because no one can say they are wrong, because no one knows anything about the human mind and how it works in fact, except here at Desteni, we have properly investigated it for many years and we even offer a free course so that each one can get a clue and not fall for this bullshit ever again and actually start facing the true story, so I suggest follow this link and click HERE and join up and do it, finish it, face the reality of things and fix this world as ourselves first, there is no magic and saving just one person won’t make any difference. 

Ok, I must now stop here and continue on the secret tomorrow, where I give my example.